One year ago today was my last full day in France. Thinking about it right now makes me smile, but it also makes me nostalgic and sad, because my four months in Europe were so beautiful.

When I close my eyes I can still trace the 27-minute walk from my studio to school: The wide shiny boulevard of Place d’Erlon, the narrow side streets with crumbly stone buildings and bright shutters, the hot sugary scent of baking treats unfurling from boulangeries in the morning.

And though I may have complained about the school from time to time, I loved every brick of it because it introduced me to some of my dearest friends. Friends I laughed with and cried with and explored new cities with; friends I drank wine with straight from the bottle on the midnight streets of Paris; friends I sang ABBA with as we ran, skipped, danced down a mountain all the way to Grenoble; friends I huddled in a train aisle with at 4 in the morning; friends I looked over at, wide-eyed and amazed, as we gazed at moonlit rivers and golden autumn forests and spectacular paintings. There’s something about friendships forged in foreign places; you don’t know anyone so you hold on tight to the people you find and you spend all your time together and experience new places together and try new things together and grow together. Anyway, I’m rambling, but I’m just trying to say I love my exchange friends, and I miss them all the time.

• 

• 

• 

Pictures from my last days in Reims

I grew in a lot of ways during my time in Europe. I became more independent, open-minded, flexible, adaptable, and confident in my resourcefulness. My French improved so much I had whole conversations with native speakers–– by the time I left, Bla Bla Car drivers were telling me my French was better than their English!

• 

• 

• 

Christmas in Reims

On December 22 I spent a teary last day in Reims. I packed four months of my life into one suitcase, a tote bag, and a ridiculously over-stuffed backpack and gave my blanket and boxes of Kraft mac and cheese (a taste of America!) to my Dutch friend. Then, I took a Flixbus to Paris and the metro into the city. Thank god for the nice French men who, at two different points in my journey as I stared glumly up a long set of stairs, asked “vous–avez besoin d’aide?” and carried up my heavy luggage for me. Who says Parisians are cold?!

A friend I had met a couple months ago was attending Parsons and living in the 9th arrondissement, a lovely little neighborhood with hilly streets. When I emerged from the metro into the night, the 9th shimmered with Christmas lights. Strings of white lights swooped over streets and twinkling snowflakes floated in trees and freshly rained-on pavement shone in the warm glow from buildings. The whole district buzzed.

That night my friend and I made dinner and watched movies and I finally tried real Parisian hot chocolate, which is made with whole chocolate bars melted into milk for rich decadent deliciousness.

The next day, December 23, was my last full day in Europe. We spent a few hours at the Musée d’Orsay and then wandered the 1st arrondissement until I had to take the metro to a hotel outside Charles de Gaulle. I remember being tired but mostly sad about leaving— I’ve always been sentimental.

• 

• 

• 

I flew back to America on Christmas Eve. I flew standby and was worried I wouldn’t get on the plane, but then surprise surprise! I was upgraded to first class. A Christmas miracle. That certainly took the bite out of leaving. As we took off the sky was dense and dreary and grey. But then we rose above the clouds and it was blue and bright and sunny, and the clouds that were dark from the ground were fluffy and white from above. I smiled a little and resolved not to be weepy anymore: there were sunshine and light ahead. And I knew that one day, I’ll be back.

The travel bug bit me in Europe and hasn’t let go since. After I graduate in the spring I want to buy a proper travel backpack and a plane ticket and just go. I’ll find a way, even if it takes me a year of working in the U.S. to save up for it. I dream of going back to Europe to see my friends and all the places I didn’t have time to visit on my first trip–– an endless list. I want to backpack around South East Asia and go to Cape Town and Morroco and see my sister in Guyana. I have the spunk and savvy to see a lot of this world, and I can’t wait for my next journey.